Well, here I sit…desperately trying to find the right words to share with you all. Attempting to write again…from my heart. You see, my heart took quite a beating a few short years ago…at the very least, it certainly felt that way. It has been quite a journey with many twists and turns.
I am grateful to be on this side right now. I have recently been called, “The Recovering Perfectionist” as I am learning that it isn’t as easy to share with you my dark side and my pain as much as it is to share how I recovered and continue to recover. It seems that I just want to put the “positive” out there. Not always the tough stuff. However, that part has to be shared to fully help others and show our human side. Being open and vulnerable is important in any relationship, I certainly want yours and my relationship to be that way.
I thought I would just begin…jump in and see what pours out of me. So here it goes…first there was the separation, then came the divorce. How how I hated that word at the beginning! I couldn’t even say it. I had bought a book by one of my favourite authors, Debbie Ford and it was called, Spiritual Divorce. Actually, come to think of it, I almost didn’t buy it just because of the name. However, my friend Krista was there with me and she scooped it up and bought it for me. I had to call it “Spiritual Separation” because I was unable to use the “D” word in my situation yet. It felt so unreal to me. It was hard to read it at times, however I did eventually get some great advice from the book.
I have been working on a course that I will release in early 2017. This is a course that I knew that I would teach from the very beginning of my “life changes” as I now affectionately call this period of time. It is a course on Healing from Heartbreak, Separation and Divorce that I knew with my whole heart (even when it still felt broken) that I was going to create.
I am a teacher. A teacher who helps bring people to hope and to their light, to what makes them happy and helps them to feel whole. It just makes sense to me that I’d be teaching and sharing what I lived, experienced and worked so hard at healing in myself.
I don’t believe that I will ever forget the anxiety as I looked at the words on my mirror. This prayer that I had been saying everyday to be sure that I was led to doing the best work that I was here on earth to do. “Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say, and to Whom?” (Marianne Williamson). However, one day in those moments of anxiety I tore those questions off of my mirror, saying, “No, no, no, please do not take this from me” (meaning my marriage). “I didn’t mean that I would teach this!” Well…I think you all know the reply that I got by now.
Fortunately, I surrendered to a power higher than me and asked for help and it truly did turn out to be for my greater good. I am happy and grateful in this space that I am now in, almost 4 years later.
I took the time to heal and now, I am excited to teach. To share and help others to heal their heart, minds and spirits. I had no idea what this truly felt like before I experienced it myself, no matter how many clients or friends that I had who had been through it. My sister lost her husband to death. I lost mine in Divorce.
What a lot of people do not know about Divorce and/or breaks ups that both my sister and I now know is this, both of these are grief on some levels and we believe that they need to be treated and seen as such. This is a topic that is not often talked about in a healthy way and I am hoping that I can help to change that and get new conversations and more healing underway. Even to help others with ideas on how to help their friends, relatives and acquaintances through these times.
I am looking forward to sharing more with you as time goes on. I will be very open and honest about my journey in the hopes that it may help others. If you know of anyone who would be helped through these messages please share with them.
I look forward to connecting with you again soon and would love to hear from you.